oh yeah baby!!!

i want my story to be like this fine lady... she got skinny in the end <3

Sexy mirror picture: i want to do one, but in the future :P

"Fix up, Look sharp," says the fine looking man... it's what i need to do to get one!

Beautiful transformation <3

I want to look like this when im 100 lbs ^^^ what do you think?

SO i got up this morning kinda irritated and nervous.. why? ... well i ate 2 oranges more than i should have yesterday :S but that's okay... cuz i lost 2 more pounds!!!! so i am 184 now!!! :D It feels sooooo goood!!!! once im done with the diet, ill post the diet up on the tabs up above^^^^ and the lemonade diet :) they are both so awesome!

But a few hurdles are coming... 1) my sister's bridal shower today that will be full of good tasting foods and sweets (especially my favorite honey cake :P); 2) my period (i usually gain 5 lbs from water gain :X) and 3) stress from my upcoming organic Chemistry exam can cause a eating spike :S .... sigh... oh geez i hope i can make it!... i have worked too hard to get under 185 and i cant make anything stop me now from being under 180!!!! i hope for the best!

In other news,... i saw my Robert Pattinson - like guy the other day... he's cuter than ever! ... but he's playing hard to get... but i played it right back :P ... i hope ill be in better shape soon to show him how beautiful i am... and that he can't have me ;D to make him want me more! lol ... oh im just babbling nonsense i guess to the people who just started to follow me,... read past post to be filled in! :P

If i can lose weight, you can too... have faith in yourselves my ladies! {DOVE}

Sister's cooking

First off, i want to say "Welcome" to Molly :) for following the blog... i hope you'll enjoy and read some old posts... i have some pretty good thinspo pics here and there... And a huge thanks to Fluer, girl you are my rock!!

Now back to regular blogging... So, i got up today and i couldn't weigh myself :( ... the scale is in my mom's room and she sleeps long into the morning... I left to work before i got the chance to... and by then, i already had something to eat and guzzled down 4 cups of water with Wyler's mix (10cals for 4 cups). I ate my good fluffy eggs (3 eggs + 1cup 2% Milk), and im glad i did cuz the kids i worked with today were wild! and probably burnt off my eggs.

I hate my sister's cooking... dont get me wrong its delicious stuff but trying to keep my "diet" away from my family's eyes is hard when we all eat together... So i ate, but i'm proud of myself of picking good choices and small portions of the greasy stuff... And again, I guzzled down 4 more cups of Wyler water. All in all i ate less than 1000 cals today and im really proud :) It doesn't mean im not going to the gym to burn off 1000 cals... I read my bible while im on the eliptical now, and its amazing how time goes by so fast... In one hour i can burn up to 830cals!!! so hopefully i can do 2 hrs :D and burn off a little extra.

Im into Penpals... I know it seems childish and crazy, but its really cool... and the joy of getting a letter from the mail that isn't a bill or scam is great. And i got this new pal from UK (finally!), and he's such a cute guy! Spitting image of Johnny Depp :D so i should be getting his letter later this week or early next week... i'll keep you guys in touch if you want :P

SO here is my inspirations for today:

BW 2

Buckwheat diet day 2 is on the rise and i feel pretty good still :) I weighed myself really quickly this morning and it said i was 186ish :) Thats just fabulous! This thing is really working! Plus its not that hard to do. Having only to eat 2 things and restricting both to just 2 cups each, its very low in calories and again more means to lose weight! This diet is supposed to help lose 4-10kg in a week or two, which is really cool too. But the sad part is you can do it once a month :( I wonder why cant i do it every other week for two weeks? we'll see i guess.

I was at the gym last night and every Sunday, Monday, and Thursday (sometimes on Saturdays too) I see this cute guy who works at the front desk :P And I'd just talk to him and stuff and just yesterday he finally started a conversation :D which is nice cuz you don't want to be the only one trying to strike up a conversation! ... though i know nothing is going to happen between us, He's really cool guy to talk to and a good practice to feel comfortable again around guys :)


Well, handsome-man still hasn't returned a message on FB, but that's okay... I don't really look like myself on the photo anyway... besides he's barely on there anyways,... he's a busy man,... trying to become a doctor, he has a long way to go on his education, he doesn't need a girl right now to take him off his focus.

I hope that with this BW diet I'll be 175 by Sunday... So i can finally fit into my clothes again! lol

{DOVE}

Diet mistakes!

I just realized that i totally did the diet wrong yesterday; I got mad, ate 2 pizza slices, 2 cups of cherry coke, a piece of chocolate, and a handful of dark chocolate covered pomegranate. But not to worry, Im fine now, and buzzed on the food i ate...


My mom noticed that i was not eating the buckwheat and she was like "I thought you were going to be serious on this diet" "I already told everyone that you are going on this diet" "i wanted to see if its going to work so i can go on it" "You never have a middle ground on food! you either eat everything you want or you eat nothing!" ... ugh ...


Im starting it tomoro, since i know what i did wrong... Plus ill be going to the gym in the morning and going to college straight after so that I will ONLY eat buckwheat and Kefir... plus i may have the chance to see Handsome-man... Dont worry im not really stuck on him anymore..

I have a penpal, I've been writing to him since ever! about 6 years now i believe and its really cool... I want to visit him in 2 years (when i have the money). I cant wait to see him! Yes, its a guy! He is really cool, i love it that he has such girl drama and then im kinda there to pick up the pieces, cuz everyone needs someone once in a while to think things through...SO i must get skinny!


I cant wait till im skinny :)
{DOVE}

Buckwheat diet day 1

Well i just started today, and its not that bad. I can eat buckwheat all day and buttermilk (only 1 liter). I hope this will work. It should work, i don't know what else to do. I cant fast, i cant make myself stay at the gym, i love sweets, and stuff like that. So i was thinking for this diet, Ill be on buckwheat and kefir for 2 weeks, then 2 weeks without kefir, and then two weeks on cuz i've been reading up on the diet (barely any info out there), And it is said that with the kefir it makes you rapidly lose weight... I dont want to get into a plateau or anything so i'll try it this way. Besides it was only intended to be for 2 weeks... I know a girl who was on it for more than a month!!!

I went to bed really late last night and before i went to sleep i checked my facebook one last time. And finally he added me. It was a bit odd because i wonder why he added so late at night as well, and then I find that he is like 24 going on 25 years of age and knowing that his church don't really wear wedding rings, it makes me wonder if he is married or not. FYI the Slavic community marries really early. So im just sitting there thinking... looking around his profile... Some things aren't adding up... The display name really isn't his name, barely goes on his facebook at all, the email that is displayed is even more screwed up (has a name but not his name), and things like that.... is someone impersonating him? I dont know.... Its just all too weird for me right now... I wonder if he is going to reply to my message i sent.. only the really Handsome-man can answer it, so we'll see what happens.

Check out Easy Bible Read!

{DOVE}

The little pieces

SO, i was talking to my mom about the 3 day diet and the mild complications i have on the diet (constipation and little urine production) and she got concerned. Our digestive system is the last thing you want to mess up. So, i decided to change the diet up a bit... like drink more coffee (my style) and eat less of the necessary products... Eating 2 cups of broccoli and califlower is harsh on any liver...so i will just eat less and skip eating something... But i will stick to simple foods like boiled eggs and stay away from the processed. From yesterday, i lost like two pounds... i was like 192-3 from the diet at night and i was 190 this morning. So i am on track, but it would be nice to lose 10 lbs again, but i see that you have to wait a LONG time to do it again.

[DOVE]

confessions

Well i admit that i got a bit angry yesterday.... I was angry at the fact that i wasn't losing any weight the second time i did the diet and i was mad that i wasted all that food... I should have waited till my body was comfortable at 185 before i started again... i should have waited till by bowels started moving normally... ugh so i went on a rampage... i ate 2 cups of vanilla/chocolate chip/cookie dough icecream, coffee, lemon/cherry cheesecake, 2 string cheese... i was so mad... Im still mad a little right now... but i've noticed my belly isn't as flabby so at least its changing and tightening. I went out with my friends yesterday for a bible study thing and i noticed that i was the largest one. Fattest one. I felt so disgusting. I once thought that i was pretty and cute but now i see myself as some girl that no one really cares for. sigh... Im off the diet for 4 days... ill give myself four days till i really get overboard and comfortable with food.
[DOVE]

Failure?

Well i've been watching my weight a bit through this diet. And i've found that im not losing much of anything. And i started to do some research on the diet and looking at other variations. I've noticed that my version of the diet is lower than most in calories and that other diets require 4 days of instead of three.
So i was thinking that i should have taken four days off. I should have exercised on my days off. I shouldn't have ate all that sushi. And i've also noticed that this diet can give you some-what constipation (not being able to make a bowel movement) and whether or not you are drinking alot of water your urine deposit will be low... :S
This doesn't mean i wont be stopping the diet, ill do the last day. From being about 190 at the end of day one to now being 185lbs on the beginning of the 3rd day, i think i've still accomplished something :) So, for the 3rd time ill be on this diet i will be: waiting 4 days till i do it again, exercise moderately, Drink the recommended 9 cups of water, and i'll definitely be much more strict of what i eat off the diet.
I have found the secret to burning fat!!! I was in microbiology last night and the professor has said something really interesting. All cells use glucose metabolism ( changing glucose into ATP (energy)) . You either use Aerobic or Anaerobic Respiration to do this. With Aerobic, your result is making 36 ATP; With Anaerobic your results in just 2 ATP. Results: Aerobic=36ATP= Running= no fat burn; Anaerobic=2 ATP = Walking = More fat burn! SO,... you burn more fat while you are walking, even more so if you are walking up a hill/incline! I dont know about you girls but i'd rather walk in a incline for an hour or so than run... plus you get the benefit of fat burning :P plus its the same thing while using weights...

<3 DOVE

?? What ???

So,... I get up this morning, right? and i'm tired because i can home late last night from a Bible discussion and from the diet... But the diet was good... i don't feel all that different, just maybe a little spaced out sometimes. But anyway, i get up and i head for the scale and i was thinking maybe the scale will be good to me this morning and say that i'm at the most 190lbs. But it didn't. It said something else.


I was thrilled to see a number that I've missed for a while... I was 185 lbs again :) Though it is a big number, its really exciting to know that this diet is really working for me. I'm not starving all day, but rather i am eating more healthy and more proportioned meals. And its only the second day!!! I recommend all overweight and obese people to give this diet a try. I don't know if it will work on healthy and ultra skinny people... we'll find out later :)



I feel so good about myself right now that its intoxicating! I haven't felt so good in a long time. I cant wait to do this diet again! To go down to 175 will be amazing :) And invigorating. To show those snobby girls that are skinny from birth that i too can be skinny and pretty... maybe even be more than they can ever be. To tell you a little secret, i dont really have boobs or a butt and i am now ever so thankful to God that i dont. Cuz if i had those curves, i would have a harder time trying to get into those size zero pants in the end :) sigh... well till tomoro, with a thinner me,


<3 [DOVE]

Enough is enough!

Im so sick of myself trying to hide my fat.
Im so sick of having so many beautiful skirts, dresses, and shirts that are just hanging in my closet because i gained weight over the summer from stress and eating to cover the stress.
Im so sick of having people say i have a pretty face
Im so sick of having to step aside for the skinny girls to take the guys i like
Im so sick of having to doubt myself so much because of my weight
Enough is Enough!
I think I have a solution!

I found this 3 days 10lbs diet online. And i've heard of it and even tried to do it before, but i just didn't make it through the 3 days. I want to try this.... even if it is only water weight. Not only will i do this diet but ill also go to the gym. I cant stand the excuses i give myself to not go. Even if ill be there alone, im going to go and work out! And between all of this ill fast at least 1 day between diet days!!!

Ill be buying the food tonight... if not tonight, then tomoro morning... In the article the guy lost 90 lbs in 4 months! and even in the comments, people lost weight on this diet. I hope some of you will try it with me... even if not on the same days... Where to get the info? i have a new tab ^--... Check it out!

[DOVE]

Sorry

I haven't been myself lately and so many things are just putting me down. College started and its a challenge... Im at 190 today.. which is good but its only because i fasted all day yesterday... I ate this morning but im not planning on eating anything else... i feel soooo full and disgusting... Its a good thing College started... i can be busy with homework, studying, and my mind will be off food...

What i had:

• 12 oz of coffee (coffee, milk, sugar, and a packet of splenda)
• 3 chocolate chip cookies
• 2 Light Laughing cow cheese wedges
• And a few little Pub mix thingies

You might wonder why i was so bummed out... Well, the truth is, its a lot of things... and just a couple days ago i was about to have another melt down when the handsome guy i saw in summer finally came up to the Christian Booth we set up in the campus and realized that he doesn't recognize me at all and introduced himself to me :( Then i started to wonder, why did he wave and smile and stuff when he doesn't know me? Does he think i dont remember him?? UGH... But i guess its okay,... I WILL BE THIN ... and since im part of the Christian group on campus ill see him more and will be able to talk to him and stuff... I hope he'll look past the fat for now... but he's just too handsome to think he would.

Im planning to fast every other day... And once im strong enough, Ill try to fast 2 days at a time... While i fast, i will pray about getting rid of my sin of Gluttony, and all the other problems i have, but mostly about my sin of loving food so much. I need a life without food. I need to live my life, not live to eat!

If anyone wants to fast with me tomoro, please comment that you will and we can do this together. I know im not skinny like most of you here in the Skinny Community but it would be nice to have someone there to encourage you and give you advice throughout the day.

I miss you Ani, i hope you are doing fine,... you are in my prayers.

[DOVE]

Oh Fruit CAKE!!

Im not going to lie, i did have a slice...
It was lovely and sweet....
Especially with my coffee....
I deserved it... just that one slice...
Good thing i stopped eating at 11am today
So i had the chance to eat this lovely slice of fruit tart :)
It was my brother's birthday
Of course i felt bad for eating it....
but im going to do a mini exercise tonight and fast tomorrow and go to the gym to make it up...
We'll see what the scale will say...

193

Its nice to see that number go down a couple pounds from yesterday :)
But im still huge :(
I bet many can say that im really huge too...
Its not like im 120 and crying my eyes out for not being 100 lbs..
I am overweight and obese at 193lbs!!!!

Im still waiting for tips and pills that i can use...
Im eating alot healthier but still eating throughout the whole day! >:(
Blueberries, Corn (homemade boiled corn), Peanut butter-strawberry sandwiches on whole grain bread, coffee with milk and sugar,... ugh i feel like a cow....

[DOVE]

A step at a time

Though i have not really committed myself to fasting all day, i have been refraining myself a bit more and just snacking all day that eating meals all day.
I was freaking out and crying all day yesterday. My mom got really mad at me for going to another church while my choir was singing at our church. I knew in the back of my mind that i could have prevented it, that i should have just gone to choir and sing in front of the church... But i found out something very unpleasant... I can't fit into my bottoms :(
I mean i cant fit into my jeans nicely anymore, its a struggle to button them and even then it looks like i have a muffin top... My skirts dont fit at all! so i couldn't wear my nice black skirt to choir, it was our uniform for that morning :( ... but i couldn't tell my mom that... she would freak out even more and yell at me saying "i told you so! you shouldn't been eating so much!" ....
But dont you think i know that??? Dont you think that i hate myself for it?? that i think im ugly, disgusting, and shouldn't be in public???
I mean come on! I used to be 200 lbs and i worked my butt off to get to 170 lbs (it was heaven) and then the stupid classes i have to take ever semester puts so much stress on me that anything i eat will make me hold onto water more and huge urges to munch on everything all day!!! and now im like 195! and after my period it will be to 190! UGH!!!
This is insane!
I wish there were magical pills that would make all this go away...
I used to take pills... and then my mom found out and now checks through my room constantly...
Sometimes i feel like she really hates me...
Hates me for being fat,
For being like my Dad,
For not being a normal 20 year old girl,
For not being married yet,
For not even having a boyfriend yet,
For not speaking russian enough,
For not being like my sister,
For not being everything she wants me to be...

If you know any pills that help, or any drinks, or anything that helps weight loss... please comment them here... im at a desperate point...
Ill be drinking down some old diet pills i still have...
Ill be waiting for your response..

[DOVE]

Oh this is just hilarious!

Okay, may be its not that funny but... My mom has noticed that i have gained about 15 pounds in the last 3 months and since i just ended my summer class, she goes and says to me "we are going to fast tomoro, sunday, monday... " lol this is sooo funny!
She and my sis always look down upon me when i try to do that stuff and now she's all like "lets do it together"
Well that is just super! :D Now i have a good reason to be not eating for a very long time! yep yep! i want to try doing it for a week and then take a break (even if i dont want to) and the do in again for another week... Cuz i heard you need to do that so you won't get stuck in a plateau in your weight loss :)
I am super happy!!!

OH and my computer totally broke down :( so now i have to find my thinspo pics all over again :( oh well

[DOVE]

Not happy

Im not happy about how i eat
Im not happy about the way i look
My body wont lose any weight
Even exercise made me gain weight!
Im tired of having to eat right and gain pounds
Im tired of having to have a buddy to enjoy gym
I need a new plan
I need a new brain!
I cant wait till summer college is over
Just one more week i tell myself
After that, im going to fast
Not eat any food
I dont care what my family says
This hunger i have is wrong, WRONG!
Its a ugly sin, sin against God
Id rather eat than read the bible
Id rather eat than enjoy my family and friends
Food is my God right now, and its not right.
Glutony is bad, really bad, its terrible
So why can i not stop???
I need help
I need prayer

[DoVE]

185

Back to 185 again :) and feels really good...

Its different though, i actually see the results of going to the gym Last time i was 185, it only said it on the scale and now i can actually see it :) I am happy :) Cuz that means ill be more successful for my 175 goal :) I only have 5 lbs to get to my major reward goal and i cant wait!

Me and a friend of mine were thinking of getting icecream and i thought that was a great idea,but now that i really think about it, it could ruin everything.... So maybe ill just throw out my extra clothes that are "big" and only keep the fitting ones :)

Stay strong, beautiful, and thin

[DOVE]

well?

Hey I'm back for a post!
Well, i really don't know what to say...
I have 2 1/2 weeks left for summer class and I'm struggling to keep my grade as an A.
I have also started to go to the gym every day.. but it not seeming to change my weight.
Its weird, I'm eating healthier and i try to eat a little less, yet there is no change...
I'm very disappointed, all my hard work isn't paying off...
I can't wait till my summer class is all done.. Ill finally be free to do anything :)
ANYTHING!!!! well at least for the 3 weeks i have off before fall semester....
I want to fast as much as i can during those days....
Ill sleep, swim, go to the gym to workout, go to the sauna at the gym, clean my room thoroughly, read my books, take walks at the near by oak trees, run in the morning :)
Oh i cant wait!!!
But i know all this stress from college is causing me to eat,...
I want something to munch on, i want something cold and sweet, i want the taste of meat!
But i refrain myself as much as i can... I durn off at least 500 cals at the gym anyway ....

Stay strong, beautiful, and thin,
[DOVE]

Eating all day

I felt like i was eating all day :(

But i guess its alright since i wen to the gym

And that should cancel some out...

Plus I'm planning on not really going to bed tonight

So that means i can sleep-in a little bit till i have to go to college

And i will not be able to eat till about i dont know when since

i get off of school like at 5:45pm and then i have choir at 7pm

and then i may have to go to Group and that lasts till like 12am..

So its a great day to not eat tomoro :)

Sigh i still feel like i disappointed everyone...

I was doing so well too...

Take care everyone,

[DOVE]

Binged???

Well i went a little over-board this morning:

Jello layered caked: ~100
Burrito: 300
Cherrios w/2% milk: 250
----------------------------
= 650 cals already!

But im not going to go crazy on it..
I have a punishment for it.
I have my car back today,
And that means major gym time :)
At least 2 hrs worth of running, eliptical, arm stuff, etc.
I cant wait to get in shape now! ill be able to be at school all i want.
I can be far away from the fridge all i want :)
Here come the thin me even faster!

[DOVE]