Sorry

I haven't been myself lately and so many things are just putting me down. College started and its a challenge... Im at 190 today.. which is good but its only because i fasted all day yesterday... I ate this morning but im not planning on eating anything else... i feel soooo full and disgusting... Its a good thing College started... i can be busy with homework, studying, and my mind will be off food...

What i had:

• 12 oz of coffee (coffee, milk, sugar, and a packet of splenda)
• 3 chocolate chip cookies
• 2 Light Laughing cow cheese wedges
• And a few little Pub mix thingies

You might wonder why i was so bummed out... Well, the truth is, its a lot of things... and just a couple days ago i was about to have another melt down when the handsome guy i saw in summer finally came up to the Christian Booth we set up in the campus and realized that he doesn't recognize me at all and introduced himself to me :( Then i started to wonder, why did he wave and smile and stuff when he doesn't know me? Does he think i dont remember him?? UGH... But i guess its okay,... I WILL BE THIN ... and since im part of the Christian group on campus ill see him more and will be able to talk to him and stuff... I hope he'll look past the fat for now... but he's just too handsome to think he would.

Im planning to fast every other day... And once im strong enough, Ill try to fast 2 days at a time... While i fast, i will pray about getting rid of my sin of Gluttony, and all the other problems i have, but mostly about my sin of loving food so much. I need a life without food. I need to live my life, not live to eat!

If anyone wants to fast with me tomoro, please comment that you will and we can do this together. I know im not skinny like most of you here in the Skinny Community but it would be nice to have someone there to encourage you and give you advice throughout the day.

I miss you Ani, i hope you are doing fine,... you are in my prayers.

[DOVE]