Down to the last straw

Today i'm going to a birthday party... and im a blob of about 202lbs.... All the stress from work, getting a second job, and college is unrelenting on my want for food :S.... i have a size 13 dress pant somewhere in my closet, ill have to where that with something i guess.. thats okay since i dont really care who is going to be there... our "group" doesn't have anyone i like enough to dress up and care for... ill still try to look pretty though... *i just went and tried the pants on with a black shirt and it doesn't look too bad (thank goodness)... all i need now is to curl my hair and makeup :)

Fleur,... i know i dont have to be 170lbs to be loved, but it would be nice to have a wider range of clothes to wear. I used to be a beautiful 170 and very inventive clothes to choose from, but i cant wear them anymore because i gained weight :S....

Speaking of 170,... thats what i need to strived for the next 2 weeks... why? well a friend of mine is having a party and its formal cocktail dress code! i have a beautiful black dress but i can only fit in it if i was at most 173! AH! sooooo i am trying to become determined to diet vigorously for the next 2 weeks! a combination of 3day diet and buckwheat ... and maybe some fasting... Oh, wish me luck!

here are some inspiring photos for today, {DOVE}