Mixed feelings

Well today i was kinda scared to go onto the scale,... and so when i did i saw that i was indeed 190lbs. But i must ignore it right now,... why? Well my body is definitely not 190lbs! Its toned more, and i can fit into certain genes that i know i wouldn't be able fit into if i was 190lbs. So i will ignore the scale for a bit and still say that i did lose 5 lbs but my body has not changed.
I started the Buckwheat diet again today, but i changed it a bit... I need to add more liquid in the diet, so i've decided to have tea with milk and sugar that kefir. Why? Well, first off the tea is less calories than the kefir and it will help me to prolong the diet itself when i have those little moments of sweetness during the day.
I haven't gone to the gym in two days! and i can't wait till i go today. I should lay off the weights more since that makes me look fat on the scale than i really am so i'll just stick to 10lb weights... I need the weights to not have flabby arms in the end. or anything else flabby. Plus being on the elliptical helps me burn calories while i can raise the resistance and work out my legs :) Can't wait to go to the gym!!!

Sorry for being such a yo-yo with these diets, i know i'm a total failure,... but i'm trying... {DOVE}