Enough is enough!

Im so sick of myself trying to hide my fat.
Im so sick of having so many beautiful skirts, dresses, and shirts that are just hanging in my closet because i gained weight over the summer from stress and eating to cover the stress.
Im so sick of having people say i have a pretty face
Im so sick of having to step aside for the skinny girls to take the guys i like
Im so sick of having to doubt myself so much because of my weight
Enough is Enough!
I think I have a solution!

I found this 3 days 10lbs diet online. And i've heard of it and even tried to do it before, but i just didn't make it through the 3 days. I want to try this.... even if it is only water weight. Not only will i do this diet but ill also go to the gym. I cant stand the excuses i give myself to not go. Even if ill be there alone, im going to go and work out! And between all of this ill fast at least 1 day between diet days!!!

Ill be buying the food tonight... if not tonight, then tomoro morning... In the article the guy lost 90 lbs in 4 months! and even in the comments, people lost weight on this diet. I hope some of you will try it with me... even if not on the same days... Where to get the info? i have a new tab ^--... Check it out!

[DOVE]

Brain pains

I hate it when my brain starts to talk to me.
Saying how much it wants to be fed in the stomach.
I say "NO!" not now wait for tomorrow"

Brain replies, "you can restart tomorrow too you know"
"no, i cant... if I'd do that what would be the point of today?"
Brain sighs and strikes me with pressure and hunger surges in the throat.

I don't mind the evil doings of my brain, but i fear ill snap.
Or that ill become robot-like and just walk into the kitchen and eat.
Not today, no not today...

I planned on being on a strict schedule for this week, its my vacation, its time.
Tuesday i don't eat after 6pm-ish, Wednesday i don't eat after 3pm
Thursday will be tough with no eating after 12pm, and with a grand finale on Friday with a fast!

Yes its a perfect plan, just perfect! And I'm actually doing it!
Though the hunger pains are coming on stronger, i know that thinspo pics will help.
And to think of my body at the end of this struggle.

Guys who are hot, don't like fat girls!
Big people get together with other big people; Hot and skinny people get together with their kind
And i want a hot dude!

This struggle will end soon enough...
When I'm going to be thin and with a man...
And if there will be no man, i have the whole world to discover :)

Not happy

Im not happy about how i eat
Im not happy about the way i look
My body wont lose any weight
Even exercise made me gain weight!
Im tired of having to eat right and gain pounds
Im tired of having to have a buddy to enjoy gym
I need a new plan
I need a new brain!
I cant wait till summer college is over
Just one more week i tell myself
After that, im going to fast
Not eat any food
I dont care what my family says
This hunger i have is wrong, WRONG!
Its a ugly sin, sin against God
Id rather eat than read the bible
Id rather eat than enjoy my family and friends
Food is my God right now, and its not right.
Glutony is bad, really bad, its terrible
So why can i not stop???
I need help
I need prayer

[DoVE]

Together

Me and you,
You and me,
One day we will be
As thin as we can be.

To show the world our beauty
Our sulked cheeks and flat tummy.
Never fearing the glaring eyes
Who seek the same pride.

[DOVE]

Love

Love is great, love is divine, love is something you shouldn't hide.

For once the rose blooms in the light of day, there is no going away.

Not away from emotions, away from feelings, but only into those true hands of healing.

He will take your hands and kiss them sweet, He will brush his hands against your cheek,

And now His fingers in your hair with sweet pleasantry.

But knowing I'm His and He is mine, i'm in heaven divine.

[DOVE]

Exam Day

I hate these kinds of days...
Being stressed out,
Being on wit's end,
Wanting to scream,
Wanting to shout.

I need to get an A,
But is it even possible?
my mother says it is,
But i think not,
For i am too lazy.

Please pray for me,
So i can be more disciplined,
To study hard and long,
And finally pass the class.

[DOVE]